Well, after a break of a few months, I’m back in the game. I started sending out queries for THE BARD’S GIFT yesterday. Hopefully, this is the one.
The query:
Sixteen-year-old Astrid keeps mostly to herself, amusing herself with the stories her grandmother used to tell. She’s too shy even to talk in front of the young man she secretly dreams of, Torolf. Then the Norse god of eloquence appears in Astrid’s dreams and forces her to drink the Mead of Poetry. Suddenly, she’s compelled to tell her stories. In public. Even in front of Torolf.
This leads her to actually talk to Torolf–and find out that he likes her, too. They’ve barely enjoyed their first kiss when the seeress makes a prophecy that splits them apart. The gods have chosen Astrid to bring her people to a new future in the part of the map labelled “Here be dragons”. Meanwhile, Torolf undertakes a hazardous voyage in the opposite direction to supply the fledgling colony.
But an ambitious rival plots to control Astrid’s abilities and status to take power. The only weapon Astrid has to thwart this attempted coup is the ability to know the exactly right story to comfort, inspire, instruct, or warn. Failure will mean disaster for all of them.
THE BARD’S GIFT is an 84,000-word young adult alternate history set in late fourteenth century Greenland–and beyond.
I still have to work out a shorter 35-word pitch. Eep. I’m no good at that, but I need it for an upcoming pitch fest.
Good luck with this! It’s a fun book!
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Thanks!
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May I make a few suggestions? Please let me know if you have any questions! This is just what stood out to me reading it through once.
Sixteen-year-old Astrid keeps mostly to herself, amusing herself with the stories her grandmother used to tell. <<>> She’s too shy even to talk in front of the young man she secretly dreams of, Torolf. <<>> Then the Norse god of eloquence appears in Astrid’s dreams and forces her to drink the Mead of Poetry. Suddenly, she’s compelled to tell her stories. In public. Even in front of Torolf.
This leads her to actually talk to Torolf <<>>–and find <<>> out that <<>> he likes her, too. They’ve barely enjoyed their first kiss when the seeress makes <<>> a prophecy that splits them apart. The gods have chosen <<>> Astrid to <<>> bring her people to a new future in the part of the map labelled “Here be dragons”. Meanwhile, <<>>Torolf <<>> undertakes <<>> a hazardous voyage in the opposite direction to supply the fledgling colony.
But an ambitious rival plots to control Astrid’s abilities and status to take power <<>>. The only weapon Astrid has <<>> to thwart this attempted coup is the ability to know the exactly right story to comfort, inspire, instruct, or warn <<>>. Failure will mean disaster <<>> for all of them.
THE BARD’S GIFT is an 84,000-word young adult alternate history set in late fourteenth century Greenland–and beyond.
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ah, darn, it didn’t go right. I’ll re-post, hang on.
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May I make a few suggestions? Please let me know if you have any questions! This is just what stood out to me reading it through once.
Sixteen-year-old Astrid keeps mostly to herself, amusing herself with the stories her grandmother used to tell. (You’ve used “herself” twice in the first sentence.) She’s too shy even to talk in front of the young man she secretly dreams of, Torolf. (“She’s too shy even to talk in front of Torolf, the young mean she secretly dreams of.”) Then the Norse god of eloquence appears in Astrid’s dreams and forces her to drink the Mead of Poetry. Suddenly, she’s compelled to tell her stories. In public. Even in front of Torolf.
This leads her to actually talk to Torolf (“She finally talks with Torolf”) –and find (“finds”, or better yet, “discovers” instead of “finds out”) out that (omit “that”) he likes her, too. They’ve barely enjoyed their first kiss when the seeress makes (can you use a stronger word than “makes” here?) a prophecy that splits them apart. The gods have chosen (“the gods have chosen” is redundant – “prophecy” has already implied this.) Astrid to (replace “to” with “must” if you omit “the gods have chosen”) bring her people to a new future in the part of the map labelled “Here be dragons”. Meanwhile, (omit “meanwhile”) Torolf undertakes (“Torolf must undertake”) a hazardous voyage in the opposite direction to supply the fledgling colony.
But an ambitious rival plots to control Astrid’s abilities and status to take power (What would controlling the storyteller actually do for this rival?). The only weapon Astrid has (“possesses” instead of “has”) to thwart this attempted coup is the ability to know the exactly right story to comfort, inspire, instruct, or warn (this is . . . slightly unbelievable. Can you describe it in a stronger way?). Failure will mean disaster (What kind of disaster?) for all of them.
THE BARD’S GIFT is an 84,000-word young adult alternate history set in late fourteenth century Greenland–and beyond.
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Thanks! Great suggestions.
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