revisions | Meredith Mansfield, Author

Posts Tagged ‘revisions’

What’s Up Wednesday

Posted in writing, tagged blog hop, e-publishing, inspiration, Learning, marketing, Multiple Projects, Real Life, revisions, series, writing on July 2, 2014| 20 Comments »

It’s Wednesday. Time for What’s Up Wednesday, a blog hop created by Jaime and Erin Funk to help writers connect.

What I’m Reading:

I just finished Sorcery and Cecelia by Patricia Wrede and Caroline Stevermer. Loved it. I haven’t really settled on what’s going to be next.

What I’m Writing:

Still working on the rewrite of THE IGNORED PROPHECY. It’s the sequel to THE SHAMAN’S CURSE, which launches next Monday. Eep!

I’ve been a little hung up on a kissing scene. I had to remind myself that this one is light epic fantasy/sword and sorcery. This scene doesn’t need the same emphasis I’d give it in say a YA book.

I also just started the querying process on DAUGHTER OF THE DISGRACED KING, a YA fantasy romance.

What Inspires Me:

Right now, the deadline I’ve set for myself. I want to have THE IGNORED PROPHECY ready to publish in December.

What Else I’ve Been Up To:

Most of what I got done yesterday was wrangling the two dogs down to the vet for their annual exams. Poor Aliza (13 1/2 years old) had to have her ears washed out. Who knew wax build up was a problem for older dogs?

Aliza is the red-head. Micah’s the one using her for a pillow. He’s only 10 1/2.

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The Shaman’s Curse Deleted Scene

Posted in writing, tagged deleted scene, e-publishing, fantasy, marketing, revisions, series, world building, writing on June 22, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Here’s another deleted scene from The Shaman’s Curse:

Vatar walked briskly through the wet, empty streets of Caere on his way to the guild hall, smiling slightly. Apparently the Caerean’s thought they’d melt in a little bit of rain. Although, to be fair, this was more than just a little rain and from the look of the clouds, he expected to hear the boom of thunder at any moment. Still, the Dardani were accustomed to ride in all weathers short of a blizzard. Or when the snow was deeper than their horses’ hocks.

Now that he was officially Uncle Lanark’s apprentice, he spent one day in seven at the guild hall with the other apprentices his age, learning the things Uncle Lanark couldn’t teach him. Like the smelting of iron and how to turn iron into steel during the smelting. The guild hall did that for all the smiths in Caere.

How do they keep the smelting fires hot enough during weather like this? He smiled. Presumably, he would find out today. He couldn’t think of much else they’d be able to do in this weather. Surely not work at the forges. Vatar enjoyed his lessons at the guild hall. In addition to all the new things he learned, he got a chance to make a few friends among the other apprentices, like Fowin.

When he reached the Smiths’ Guild, Vatar was directed not toward the smelter, but indoors to the meeting hall. Three masters presided over the room.

“There are blades in need of sharpening in the barrels, lad. Grab one and a whetstone and get to work,” one of them said.

At almost the same time, the big bell on the top of the hall rang.

“Everyone come over to the windows,” the master gestured toward the wall of windows across from the mural Arcas had shown Vatar on his first day in Caere. “Look up there.” He pointed to the ornate weathervane above the gate.

Vatar did as he was told and drew in a sharp breath. The weathervane was enveloped in a dancing violet flame. He’d seen something similar, once, on the plains, only around the bare branches of a dead tree.

“What is that?” another apprentice asked.

“We call it Tabeus’s Fire. By itself it’s harmless, but it is a warning of an approaching thunderstorm. When you see it, close your forge and get out as quickly as you can. You do not ever want to be caught in your smithy during a thunderstorm.” As if to accentuate the master’s warning, a flash of lightning lit the sky beyond the guildhall.

“Just like not sheltering under the tallest trees during a thunderstorm,” Vatar said.

The master nodded. “That, too. But also, lightning is attracted to iron. And there’s a lot of iron in a smithy.”

As if to demonstrate the master’s point, the next bolt of lightning struck the weathervane. The top portion of the vane flew off and landed with a clatter on the cobblestones of the courtyard.

Vatar swallowed. “I guess so.”

A version of this scene had been in this story from the first draft. But there’s a problem with it. The only reason for this scene is to introduce the idea of Tabeus’s Fire (more commonly known in our world as St. Elmo’s Fire), which will have an important role later in the story. That’s not enough reason for it to stay. I found subtler (and shorter) ways to give the same information.

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Deleted Scenes and Chapters

Posted in writing, tagged e-publishing, marketing, revisions, world building, writing on June 11, 2014| Leave a Comment »

First, THE SHAMAN’S CURSE is now available for preorder at Barnes and Noble and Apple.

It’s $0.99 now, but after the launch the price will go up.

Now, deleted scenes:

In my final revision of THE SHAMAN’S CURSE, I cut quite a lot. Whole chapters, in fact. But nothing is ever thrown away. I have all those scenes and chapters safely squirreled away. I’ve already got plans to put several of them involving an important side character together into a story–possibly novelette or novella length. I figured out the title this morning. Maybe that’ll come out around the time I publish the second book or a little before.

Meanwhile, here’s another deleted scene. This is a bit of world building–the Festival in the coastal city of Caere–that will probably come into a later story but just wasn’t needed in this one. Vatar is the main character of TSC, a boy from the semi-nomadic plains tribe come to the city and about to be apprenticed to learn blacksmithing (after his broken arm and cracked ribs heal). Arcas is his cousin. Kiara Vatar’s little sister. She’s about eight at this point in the story (though she may have been a bit younger than that when this scene was written).

Unlike Arcas, Vatar actually resented the arrival of Caere’s great holiday, the Festival, because it meant Uncle Lanark closed down his forge for two whole days. Vatar didn’t care about any of the strange Sea Gods that the Caereans worshipped. What was the Festival to him?

Nevertheless, early on the first day of the Festival, Uncle Lanark led all of them–Pa, Mother, Kiara, and Vatar included–to the Smiths’ Guildhall to greet the grand procession of the Sea Gods through the streets of Caere. Arcas pulled Vatar and Kiara along with him a platform near the top of the wall by the gate which was reserved for apprentices and children of guild members, where they could get a good view of the show.

Arcas leaned as far out over the wall as he dared. “Here they come!”

“I can’t see anything,” Kiara complained.

Vatar boosted her up to sit on the top of the wall and kept his good hand on her waist. “Now sit quietly or I’ll pull you back down.” Kiara was just apt to try something daring, like trying to stand up or even walk along the narrow ledge if she wasn’t restrained.

In a few moments, the stately parade appeared in the street below them. The Sea Gods–all but one–were carried on jewel-studded platforms supported by blue-robed priests. The Sea Gods wore heavy robes in green or blue, heavily embroidered with seed pearls in swirling patterns. All of them looked slightly larger-than-life to Vatar, and most of them seemed to have a sort of hazy glow around them.

Arcas narrated the show for them. He pointed out Celeus, chief of the Sea Gods, at the head of the procession and recognizable by his crown of silver studded with pearls and moonstones. Behind him came Tabeus, the first smith, riding a fine grey stallion and carrying the very spear that had slain the sea dragon. There were also Calpe, patroness of Healers, Abella, the Seeress, and several others.

Vatar was distracted from the full catalog by having to keep hold of Kiara, who squirmed to get a better view as the Sea Gods stopped in front of the Smiths’ Guild to bestow their blessings and receive their tribute in return. The one Arcas had identified as Tabeus took a prominent role in the blessing of the Smiths’ Guild, Arcas said, because he was the first smith.

Kiara squirmed particularly violently and almost fell. Vatar leaned over the wall to pull her back, slipping his left arm from the sling to get a better grip. He cried out at the pain from his broken arm and sore ribs. Tabeus looked up. For a moment, Vatar froze. He felt pinned by that sharp gaze. Then Kiara slipped a little farther and Arcas reached to help Vatar pull her back to the platform.

She stood on her tip toes. “I can’t see anything from here. Put me back up.”

Vatar winced as he put his arm back in its sling. “Too bad. I warned you what would happen if you didn’t sit still.” He looked back down. “Show’s over anyway. They’re moving on down the street.”

“They’ll turn the corner and go on to the Merchant Guildhall next,” Arcas said. “We might as well go back down. There’ll be competitions for the apprentices with prizes.”

Vatar shrugged his left shoulder to indicate his broken arm. “I’m not an apprentice. Not yet, anyway. And I couldn’t compete if I was.”

“True,” Arcas said. “Well, there’s also a special feast day meal when we get home.” He grinned. “More of Mother’s sweet pies, I bet.”

Vatar grinned back. “Now that sounds good.”

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Cover Reveal

Posted in writing, tagged Cover Art, fantasy, Learning, marketing, revisions, rewrites, series, writing on June 1, 2014| 6 Comments »

I’ll probably try to work up a more widespread Cover Reveal when it’s finalized, but you get to see it first.

This is very nearly the final cover for THE SHAMAN’S CURSE. (Just fussing with fonts at this point.) What do you think?

I like the way the two colors suggest the two kinds of magic of the DUAL MAGICS series. I think I can work with variations of that background for the other books in the series, possibly with different foreground objects. (I’m considering a scroll for THE IGNORED PROPHECY, for example.)

I just need to finalize the cover and finish about 50 more pages of the final edits. Then I can start formatting and be ready to prepare for a (hopefully) July launch. This time, I’d like to round up a few reviews before it actually goes live.

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Maps

Posted in writing, tagged e-publishing, illustrations, Learning, revisions, rewrites, sequels, series, world building, writing on May 28, 2014| 2 Comments »

Fantasy novels often have maps at the beginning. Sometimes, even if the map doesn’t make it into the final, published book, the author draws one out for reference as part of the world building.

I figured out how to include a map in my ebooks with THE BARD’S GIFT.

It’s not hard. It’s just another step. But it also involves making sure that the illustration (which is what a map is, when you come right down to it) is sized correctly and actually will be readable on at least most readers. (If you’re reading on your smart phone, you’re on your own.)

But, let’s be honest. THE BARD’S GIFT is an historical fantasy. I didn’t have to start from scratch with that map.

Now, I also have a map for the world of the DUAL MAGICS series. But it’s a hand-scribbled-for-my-reference kind of map. Don’t laugh.

Yeah. That one’s not going to make it into the book.

I’d kind of like to include a map, though. There is software out there, mostly written for rpg gamers, that will make more professional looking maps. There are two problems with that, though.

The first, of course, is price. I need to decide if it’s really worth it on top of the other expenses. Over the course of the whole series, it might be. Plus, I have other stories, like DREAMER’S ROSE, that also have hand-scribbled maps.

There’s also the question of whether the story really needs it. Beta readers of THE BARD’S GIFT expressed a wish for a map. Beta readers of THE SHAMAN’S CURSE never mentioned it. (Neither actually had a map when they read the stories.) So, maybe it’s not such a big deal.

The second problem is the learning curve. If I started today, it would still likely delay publication of THE SHAMAN’S CURSE just to produce something that didn’t look completely amateurish. But one of the great things about ebooks is that you can go back and upload a newer version. Some retailers, like Amazon and Smashwords, even allow customers to download newer versions for free. So, I could go back and add the map when I finally have one that I think looks good enough to publish.

Maybe I’ll have a map–and an updated version of THE SHAMAN’S CURSE–when I publish the sequel, THE IGNORED PROPHECY.

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Revising Sometimes Means Deleting

Posted in writing, tagged Cover Art, e-publishing, fantasy, revisions, rewrites, writing on May 25, 2014| 2 Comments »

So, this week and probably next, I’m concentrating on getting through what will hopefully be the final edits/revisions to THE SHAMAN’S CURSE. I want to get this formatted and ready to go for a July (or possibly August) launch. Having it ready early will allow me to do something in the right order for a change–actually send out advance review copies so the reviews can hit at around the time of the launch.

I’ve made good progress this week. I deleted four whole chapters. And I have my eye on two more that might very well get the axe, too. I always felt that the first third to maybe half of TSC was a bit too slow, a little too distanced from the central conflict. (I physically separate my MC from the antagonist as his first try/fail cycle, so this is at least somewhat inevitable, but that doesn’t mean things have to be drawn out.)

Some important things happen in that section. But there were a few other chapters that were establishing things for later. The thing is, despite the common advice “Show, don’t tell”, you don’t actually have to show everything. In fact, you shouldn’t. Some things can and should be told. In this case, it’s going to do more for the pacing of the story than the scenes/chapters did for set up. And I can still put in a paragraph or so to provide the necessary set up–just somewhere else.

But, the thing is, just a couple of months ago, I couldn’t see that. I needed the critiques that pointed out that some things didn’t seem to really move the story forward. And I needed the time to get enough distance from the story to see what those scenes were.

Sometimes, progress actually means deleting portions of your story, but it takes some distance from it to be able to see that. And those deleted scenes/chapters? Expect to see them during the launch.

Oh, and I think I’m finally making progress toward cover art for this series. There may be a cover reveal before too long.

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Wrapping Up Revisions

Posted in writing, tagged fantasy, Multiple Projects, Real Life, revisions, Romance, writing, Young Adult on May 14, 2014| 2 Comments »

Blogging a little bit late today because life got crazy yesterday–and that’s aside from the current heat wave, here. It’s been in the 90’s all week.

Right now, I’m about to wrap up the revisions on MAGIC AND POWER (or whatever title I finally decide on). Strengthening a couple of characters, mostly. There’s one section I still need to trim, but I’m probably going to have to seek some help with that. Someone else will be able to see what’s expendable than I am at this point.

It’ll soon be time to start working on the query and a dreaded synopsis for this one.

Keep your head down. Don’t draw attention. Don’t make waves. Be invisible as much as possible. Above all, don’t make yourself a target. Those are the rules seventeen-year-old Ailsa has lived by for as long as she can remember. She’s used to that. It just goes with being the daughter of the disgraced ex-king and living next to his more-than-slightly paranoid replacement.

With very few friends and no prospects of marriage, Ailsa focuses her energy on her chance to study at the Institute of Magical Arts. Her great hope is that she’ll prove to have a kind of magic that will enable her to save her homeland from the new king’s restrictive policies toward mages. But nothing is ever that simple for Ailsa. A completely unexpected proposal–from Crown Prince Savyon, no less–threatens to derail all her plans.

Political intrigue, powerful magic, and a handsome study partner with a maddening taste for placing them both at the center of attention force Ailsa to rethink her view of the world. Perhaps the answer isn’t to shrink until she fits in somebody’s pre-arranged slot after all. Maybe she can make her own place–and change the world for the better in the process.

The only question remaining is which of the young men who claim to love her is willing to help her in that battle.

GREEN MAGIC is a 96,000-word young adult fantasy romance and potentially the first of a series.

Thank you for your time.

Except, of course, it’s nearer to 97,000 words and I still have some more to add.

After that, I want to make a final pass through THE SHAMAN’S CURSE, preparing that one for this summer sometime. Then complete a first pass through the rewrite of the sequel, THE IGNORED PROPHECY. (The DUAL MAGICS series.)

And then I have plenty more things in the pipeline after that. The rewrite of DREAMER’S ROSE. First drafts of the sequel to MAGIC AND POWER and the third book in the DUAL MAGICS series (probably to be titled TROUBLED COUNSELS). And there’s still that weird Oz story hanging out on the edges, waiting for me to figure it out.

Yeah, I expect I can keep busy.

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Mother’s Day

Posted in writing, tagged e-publishing, fantasy, inspiration, marketing, paranormal romance, Real Life, revisions, Romance, series, writing, Young Adult on May 11, 2014| 2 Comments »

This is my first Mother’s Day without Mom. I miss her, not so much the way she was at the end, when, frankly, she didn’t really know who I was anyway. (Alzheimer’s disease is a far worse villain than anything I can come up with.) I miss her the way we were back in this photo, which is just an ordinary picnic. After Dad retired, they took up the habit of going on picnics once a week, usually on Tuesdays. If the weather didn’t cooperate, they’d still go for a drive and stop to eat somewhere. It didn’t take long before they knew all the best places–indoors or out–within a three-hour drive in any direction. (Well, not west. You can’t drive three hours to the west from here without a boat. ) Whenever I felt I needed a break, I could just throw my name in and join them for a day.

I’m planning to keep myself busy. There’s a lot that needs doing around here and I’m about two-thirds through revisions to MAGIC AND POWER.

Don’t forget the Mother’s Day Book Bash. Nine great books for bargain prices.

And, just to tie the two parts of this post together, Mom was part of the inspiration for Valeriah in the Chimeria series. Not Vallie’s aggressiveness or her fighting prowess, that wasn’t Mom at all. Though, she wasn’t afraid to make her opinion known. No, the part of Valeriah that comes from Mom was the petite ball of fire aspect. Mom was barely five feet tall on a good day, but she sure was a firecracker.

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Revising Revisions

Posted in writing, tagged characters, fantasy, first drafts, Learning, revisions, Romance, writing, Young Adult on April 27, 2014| Leave a Comment »

By far the longest part of writing is revisions. First drafts are allowed to be bad. Some would even say they’re supposed to be bad. Really, the first draft is just to get the story down. My rule on first drafts is never look back. There is only one direction–forward. If I go down a rabbit trail, well, I just cut that part in the next draft. There are going to be things I have to cut. There are going to be things I have to add–settings and emotions I skipped over in the first draft, foreshadowing of things I discovered as I went along. Sometimes, there are just going to be things I got wrong.

Sometimes, in the process, I create even more problems.

I’m currently working on what I hope will be the last revision of MAGIC AND POWER (working title). This one has taken a more circuitous path than usual. When I started it, I expected it to be a novella. Yeah. Right. It’s 95,000 words now and likely to get a bit longer. Not a novella. Some reworking was necessary when I realized that. The conflict that will sustain a novella isn’t necessarily big enough to make a novel work. So the political background of the love story had to grow and take a bigger role in the story.

I intended it to be a love story between just two characters–until a third character popped up and turned out to be a better match. My first love triangle. And, on the first and second pass, I botched it. Knowing which character was going to win in the end, I didn’t make the other enough of a possibility. In this revision, I need to make that character a plausible love interest–better, stronger, less desperate.

Not content with that, in the process of creating a little more tension with the other love interest, I messed him up too. I want him to have some goals and methods that are annoying to the main character, so that their attraction to each other is derailed a few times before things work out for them. I took it too far. Now he comes off as pushing too hard.

Sometimes the writing process is two steps forward and one step back. Oh well, as long as the momentum is still forward.

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Building Up Steam

Posted in writing, tagged e-publishing, fantasy, marketing, Multiple Projects, revisions, rewrites, sequels, short stories, writing, Young Adult on March 30, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Well, the computer problems I had earlier sort of took the wind out of my sails for a while, but I’m starting to build up steam again.

I’ve gotten through a slow patch in THE IGNORED PROPHECY (sequel to THE SHAMAN’S CURSE) and into a section where more is happening. Things are moving faster now, both in the story and in my rewrite of the story. That slow patch is a section I’m going to have to revisit in the next patch, of course. I’ll need to either punch it up or delete a fair bit, probably some of each. But rewrites, like revisions, are an iterative process. The key is not to try to fix everything all at once, but concentrate on a certain aspect in each pass. This pass is more about technique (and a little bit about adding emotion as I improve things like dialog mechanics and internal dialog).

Meanwhile, I’m about ready to start on the final edits and formatting of “Wyreth’s Flame” for publication next month. I’ve pretty much got the cover:

The plan is for “Wyreth’s Flame” to be free everywhere (which will probably take some work to bring about on Amazon). This short story was the germ that eventually grew into THE BARD’S GIFT.

The ebook for “Wyreth’s Flame” will include a bonus section with a substantial portion of THE BARD’S GIFT.

Oh, the first five chapters of TBG are available free on wattpad, if you want to take a look. I’m putting out a chapter a week, which means it’ll take 33 more weeks for the whole story to be available there (around the middle of November).

So, things are moving well again. Just in time for me to start work at a new job (part time) tomorrow. I’ll be a crossing guard. Wish me luck.

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