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Posts Tagged ‘revisions’

Wow, I just realized that I completely forgot to post yesterday.

Real life just came up and hit me in the face yesterday. Taken care of now, more or less.

My only excuse for today is that it’s Thursday and it never occurred to me because I post on Wednesdays and Sundays.

So, to make this just a little writing related, I’m working my way back into WAR OF MAGIC, the fourth–and last–book of my DUAL MAGICS series. The brief hiatus was just what I needed I think. Both to recharge and to get a little distance.

I’m reworking the first few chapters right now because the beginning . . . just wasn’t working. This will be better. Then I can move forward.

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So by now it’s obvious that this is really a collection of deleted scenes making up most of a subplot I had to delete from THE VOICE OF PROPHECY

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and couldn’t shoehorn into BEYOND THE PROPHECY.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????The first parts are in this post, and this one. Here’s the end of it:

Vatar looked back over his little column of riders to where Teran and Terania rode in a zone of isolation, shunned by Thekila. Even Quetza barely spoke to them. That had been going on for three days. Vatar couldn’t help thinking of the period in the Valley, before she chose him, when Thekila had treated Vatar similarly. And how it had made him feel. Well, they’d be home this afternoon. He’d speak to her then, when they could be alone.

Vatar opened the door to the room next to the one he shared with Thekila. The twins were soundly asleep. He shut the door quietly and continued to the room at the end. Pausing to watch Thekila brushing out her flame-red hair, he sat down to pull off his boots. Without looking up, he drew a deep breath. “You should let up on Teran.”

Thekila whirled to face him. “What?”

Vatar looked up to meet her eyes. “You don’t have to seek him out, or spend a lot of time with him, or even forgive him. That’s fine with me. Just . . . return his greeting in the morning. Nod or give him a word when he speaks to you. That’s all.”

Thekila’s brows creased. “Why?”

Vatar stood up and crossed to her side. He put his hand to her face, allowing his thumb to caress her cheek. “Because I remember how it hurt, when we quarreled, before you chose me. When you shut me out like that.” His eyes drifted slightly away from hers. “You drove me to tears, you know.”

Thekila blinked. “Tears?”

Vatar nodded slightly, still not meeting her gaze directly. “Late at night, when I didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to make things right between us.” He looked back into her eyes. “Don’t torment him. It isn’t necessary.”

Thekila looked up into his eyes for a long moment. “You know, if your positions were reversed, I don’t think Teran would make the same request on your behalf.”

Vatar smiled crookedly. He caressed her cheek again. “That doesn’t matter.”

Thekila smiled back. “No. Vatar, you should know. I made the right choice.” Her voice grew harder. “But don’t do anything like that again until you talk to me, first.”

~

Teran waited until he could get Thekila alone for a moment. She’d smiled at him that morning, but not in a very natural way. That stiff smile. He couldn’t shake the thought that she’d begun to realize her danger. That she was beginning to see the truth. He had to try again, for her sake. “Thekila, have you changed your mind? Are you starting to think—?”

Thekila spun to face him, cutting him off. “Don’t, Teran.”

Teran took a step back. “What?”

Thekila’s lips thinned. “Don’t say it. I’m speaking to you because Vatar asked me to. But don’t try my patience by bringing that subject up again.”

Teran blinked. “Vatar asked you to?”

Thekila crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Yes. He said it wasn’t necessary to hurt you. Even though he’s never liked you. Even after you tried to come between us again. He’s a better man than you in every way, Teran. And if you dare to question his sanity in my presence again, I will never forgive you. Never.” She turned and strode away. Every footstep punctuating the distance that had suddenly grown between them.

Terania came up beside him. “I tried to warn you.”

He swallowed hard. “Will she . . .”

Terania shook her head. “She’ll never turn to you, now. No matter what happens.” She sighed. “We’ll still be here and we’ll try to protect her. But I doubt she’ll ever completely forgive you.”

“Even if I’m right? Even if Vatar is crazy?” he asked.

Especially if you’re right.”

BEYOND THE PROPHECY released yesterday.

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Actually, this is a whole deleted subplot–or part of it. I’d written this for THE VOICE OF PROPHECY,

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????but had to cut it. The whole return trip to the Valley just didn’t make sense there. The urgency didn’t exist yet and it just wasn’t something Vatar would do at that point. It felt very out of character for him. I was sorry to lose it, because it set up a very nice short-term conflict between Vatar, Thekila, and Teran.

I’d hoped to fit the subplot into BEYOND THE PROPHECY,

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????but the element that really made it work–Vatar thinking he was going crazy–didn’t exist anymore. So, here’s the first part of that subplot.

This takes place as Vatar and his cohort are escorting Teran and Terania–two Valson completely unused to the plains–across the plains to Caere. Vatar’s twins are about four years old at this point. Vatar has earlier asked his former rival, Teran, to look after Thekila if it turns out Vatar is losing his mind.

They stopped at another waterhole that evening. Vatar, Arcas, and Quetza set about making camp, while Theklan took care of the horses and Thekila and Terania made preparations for an evening meal. The twins, free from their day-long confinement, ran around the campsite, releasing all their pent-up energy.

Vatar watched them for a moment. “Stay close. And don’t go near the water.”

He turned back to pitching one of the tents. Arcas and Vatar straightened at the same moment as the dogs began to bark. Vatar didn’t need to ask. Of course Arcas had sensed the lions coming down to drink at the far side of the water hole. Vatar immediately scanned the campsite. He spotted Savara pestering Thekila, but where was Zavar? He extended his Far Sight. The little boy had wandered near the water in spite of Vatar’s warnings. Much too close to the lions. Without meaning to, Vatar slipped into the viewpoint of the big male—watching Zavar as he drifted closer. He swallowed hard past the sudden lump in his throat. “Stop where you are, Zavar!”

Zavar stopped and looked back, wide-eyed at his father’s tone of voice.

Teran looked up, too. “What is it?”

Vatar strode forward and gathered up Zavar before he answered. “Look ahead of him, by the water’s edge. Behind the reeds.”

Teran squinted. “I don’t see anything.”

Arcas left the tents and went to scoop up Savara. “Look closer.”

Teran stiffened. “Lions!”

Vatar carried Zavar back to the center of the camp, shaking his head. “He’s going to be just like me. Always curious and always wandering off.”

Arcas bounced Savara in his arms. “Too bad Aunt Lucina isn’t here to tell us how she kept you out of trouble.”

Vatar set Zavar down next to Teran. “Lots of eyes, Arcas. There’s always someone told off to keep an eye on the children.” He took Savara and set her down next to her brother. “Teran, I’m afraid it’s going to be your job while we finish setting up camp. Keep them away from the water.”

Terania dropped the knife she’d been using to cut up the dried meat. “You mean we’re going to stay here? Aren’t we going to move camp somewhere safer?” Terania asked.

Arcas looked briefly toward the waterhole. “It’s safe enough. They’re already moving away. They just came down for a drink. Anyway, it’d take half the night to get to the next waterhole. That’d be more dangerous than staying here.”

“Do we set a watch tonight?” Quetza asked.Arcas snorted. “No need. The dogs will warn us of anything that approaches. That’s part of their job.”

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Okay, so this week I’ve mostly been trying to get back into the first draft of the fourth book in the DUAL MAGICS series, likely to be titled WAR OF MAGIC or possibly WAR MAGIC. Maybe WARRIOR OF MAGIC. (But maybe not any of those if I get a better idea. Titles are hard.)

I posted before about the necessary shift in mind set from editing to writing a first draft. The first draft is just to get the story down. I’m not supposed to worry about whether I’ve got the right word or even whether a sentence is awkward. Or whether I’ve put in enough description or too little. Or whether, at the start of the fourth book, readers have enough of a re-introduction to the characters and setting. And a million other things that I worry very much about when I’m revising or editing. Which, of course, is what I was most recently doing–revising and editing the final draft of BEYOND THE PROPHECY.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????I’ve had more trouble than usual getting started again with this story–and it’s because I made a mistake.

When I stopped work on this first draft to do the final revision and polishing edit on BEYOND THE PROPHECY, I didn’t stop when I had a good vision of what would happen in the next chapter, as I should have. No, I stopped at a place where I had to make a time jump (over some boring bits) and I had only a vague idea of what came immediately next. That was a very bad idea. It made it doubly hard to start building some momentum.

I have to keep reminding myself that this draft doesn’t have to be good–or even complete–so long as it gets the story down so I can fix it.

I have–finally–gotten one chapter down. (Though even then, I had to just put a note in saying “More here” and move past a spot that had me stopped for a day.)

Now, I’m going to start getting away from the planning and more into that war promised in the (probable) title. Hopefully, that should let me build up some momentum.

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I am just shy of 80% done with the polishing edit on BEYOND THE PROPHECY (which is up for pre-order at only $0.99.)

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????After I upload the final version, that’s not the end, of course. I still have to check the upload. And format the print version. And do something more about getting the word out.

And then I can go back to the first draft of the fourth and final book of the series.

Meanwhile, when I start to go cross-eyed from the edits, I’ve been letting my creativity out in planning an update to the cover of FIRE AND EARTH and starting to think about the cover for that fourth book in the DUAL MAGICS series.

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The third book in my DUAL MAGICS series, BEYOND THE PROPHECY, is now available for pre-order.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????And the pre-order price is only $0.99! It goes live (and the price goes up) on September 8th.

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Continuing the blog posts about the magic of the world of the DUAL MAGICS series and how it affects the main character, Vatar.

The last post was about his inherited magic. This one is about the ways that magic is enhanced by his bond with his wife, Thekila.

Because of their marriage practices, Valson couples have a tendency to become bound through their magic. A condition that links the couple in a way that makes it impossible to hide emotions from one another. Thoughts can also be shared, but that requires an effort of will similar to Far Speech, though the connection is more intimate. This has been known to happen to Fasallon couples, but much more rarely. Something similar may happen to twins in both groups. Vatar and Thekila chose to magically bind themselves, which was happening slowly anyway, during THE VOICE OF PROPHECY.

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One aspect of Vatar’s inherited magic depends on his bond with Thekila, who is a Valson. Their bond allows him to project an invisible shield. But the shield draws its power from her, which makes Vatar leery of using it.

The Valson have very similar Powers to the Fasallon. However, they have one Power that the Fasallon don’t, the ability to move objects without touching them (distant manipulation). Though he doesn’t possess it himself, Vatar is able to borrow this Power from Thekila through their bond. (And, in BEYOND THE PROPHECY, she will be able to borrow some of his rarer Talents, too.)

Among the Valson who can perform a shape change into another form, it’s usual to choose one form, an avatar. So that these avatars can be easily identified (someone whose avatar is a stag wouldn’t want to be hunted by mistake, for example) the avatar is always white or black or, occasionally, both. Having learned most of his magic from the Valson, Vatar adheres to this practice. His avatar is a white lion with a black mane and tail tuft. Thekila’s is a white eagle.

 

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So, last time I blogged in general about the magic of the world of the DUAL MAGICS series. Now it’s time to blog about how this affects the main character of the series, Vatar. And that’s not a simple answer. Part One will be about his inherited magic.

Since Vatar’s real father is a Fasallon, he has inherited this magic, though at first he tries to reject the idea. But he hasn’t inherited it from just one source. As revealed at the end of THE VOICE OF PROPHECY, Vatar is also descended from the Fasallon on his mother’s side, though that magical Talent had been magically blocked for so many generations that no one knew about it anymore.

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For Vatar, having the same (or mostly) Talents from both sides of his lineage weakened that ancient block and ultimately allowed him access to some rarer Talents.

As a blacksmith, he has an innate sense of the metal he is working and where he needs to strike with his hammer. This manifests as hearing the song of the iron or steel. This also gives him the ability to enhance the tools and weapons he makes. He has Fore Sight, which mostly manifests as a vague sense of danger, a prickling between his shoulder blades. But occasionally, he feels forced to say something about the future that “feels true”. And very rarely he has a visual premonition. Some of his Talents had been believed lost, such as the ability to see through others’ Transformations and undo the change.

His rarest Talent is to create an invisible magical shield, but that depends on his ability to draw energy from a bound partner. More about that in the next blog.

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Rather than just do another boring update on the status of revisions to BEYOND THE PROPHECY, I thought I’d blog about the magic system, instead.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????So, as the series title suggests, there are two entirely different kinds of magic in this world.

The first kind of magic we encounter is the Spirit magic of the semi-nomadic, plains-dwelling people. They live in clans, each of which has an animal totem and the initiation ceremony for each clan forges a spiritual connection to that totem animal. It’s mostly a perceptive magic. A member of the Lion Clan, for example, can sense lions in the vicinity and usually tell whether they’re hunting or resting. That’s about it.

One complicating factor is that these people are highly superstitiously opposed to any form of magic (think Salem witch trials reactions). They just don’t call what they have magic. They also don’t talk about their Spirit magic with outsiders. There’s an historical reason for this that isn’t really important in this series, but would figure strongly when I eventually write the prequel series. Someday.

The second kind of magic is inherited within certain bloodlines in the ruling class of the coastal cities. This is a more active form of magic. Those possessing it can communicate over distances. Given a connection to follow, they can also see things that are happening at a distance. And the most Talented among them can work Transformations. The lowest-level Transformation are merely visual, making themselves or another object appear to be something or someone else. The high-level Transformation actually change the nature of the person or object temporarily. There are also other gifts which occur with varying frequency from fairly common to so rare no one knows much about them because the last person who could do that lived six hundred years ago.

These same Powers, with minor variations, occur in an isolated group of people living in a distant mountain valley. Again, there’s an historical reason for this that I’m saving for that prequel series, but it’s pretty easy to guess that these two groups are related somehow.

In the coastal cities, these Talents are used to support the power of the rulers. Only. And the existence of their magic is a secret. Therefore, the magic is jealously guarded and fairly draconian measures are taken to make sure that no one with Talent escapes the control of the rulers.

But no control is ever perfect and the main character of these novels is the proof of that. He has both kinds of magic. Though he initially tries to deny his inherited magic, because of those tribal superstitions. And he is temporarily severed from the Spirit magic during part of THE SHAMAN’S CURSE.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????The real fun starts in THE VOICE OF PROPHECY, when he is in control of both kinds of magic and they start bleeding into one another, interacting and sometimes reinforcing each other.

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So, last time I blogged about the last sticky revisions to BEYOND THE PROPHECY. The ones I left until last because I needed to think about them more.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Probably the hardest of those–and the one I was likely to leave to last–was a very general note on the whole middle of the story. A large part of what’s going on there is actually setting up for the conflict in the fourth (and final) book of the series. But that meant that it largely lost sight of the main conflict of this story. Things were happening, often exciting things, but they didn’t seem to further the story. And as a consequence it felt weak, sort of meandering.

But I need those things to happen. This is one of the problems with wiriting middle books in a series. And it was going to be the hardest thing to fix in this manuscript.

Then, on Monday, I listened to the latest episode of the Writing Excuses podcast. Which just happened to be about middles and characters needing to fail (even if they succeed at something smaller) during the middle. And the light broke through. That sometimes happens when my subconscious is worrying at a problem for me (while I take care of the easier revisions) and then I run across just the thing that proves to be the key to the solution.

I’m likely going to listen to that podcast again–maybe more than once. But the key is this. Yes, my characters have to step aside to deal with this other problem before it gets out of hand. (It will, anyway, of course, but not until the next book.) Yes, but by doing that, something else has to go wrong in the main conflict because they weren’t there to stop it.

I need to work it so that when we come to the climax, the situation is worse than it would have been (not necessarily a lot worse than it already is, though) if they had made different choices. Even though their choices weren’t wrong.

It’s going to take a bit of reworking, but it will make the story so much stronger.

 

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